DRAGON'S DEN
The new series of Dragon's Den kicked off on Monday night.
If you've never watched it, basically five millionaires sit smugly and tell budding entrepreneurs why their business ideas will never work. Granted, some of the ideas that come before the Dragons are a bit on the crap side, but some of do seem to be useful enough. But, if you haven't done your homework, you'll be ripped to pieces and told to get out. Hence the name of the show.
This show is worth watching for the comedy value alone. Some middle aged balding guy comes along with an idea he has been working on for years. Most of the time he reckons it'll revolutionise the way we live. Unfortunately, he fails to realise that what he has created would serve no purpose to anyone outside of the garden shed in which the idea was born. Classic television when they are told to get a life by the five smug gits.
Dragon's Den, Monday, BBC 2, 9pm.
ROOT VIEWER
You want to see some of the rubbish that is on the websites that I get my gadget ideas from. Whoever comes up with them needs kicked. In the groin. With a size 12 steel toe cap with a nail drilled into it.
So, instead of picking something useful like last week's super cool spy glasses, I thought I would something totally and utterly useless.
A root viewer.
It does exactly what the title suggests, allows you to watch the roots of plants grow.
The Root Viewer comes with a set of three Perspex growing tubes, a wooden style teat tube stand, compost and seeds. And of course the all-important full set of instructions to grow an onion, carrot and radish from seed.
I apologise to anyone who would actually consider buying one of these but c'mon, it's a thing for watching roots. You can watch your grass grow for free and it just as exciting.
www.boysstuff.com, priced £5.99. Don't do it, please.
SPIDERMAN 3
I know this has been out for a while now, but if you haven't seen it, it is pretty darn cool.
Basically, you get to watch Kirsten Dunst for two hours, which makes a great film in my book already. Oh, and Spiderman pops up now and again to fight the nasty Venom and Sandman.
After doing battle with the Green Goblin and Dr Octopus in the first two films, the webslinger is back in his toughest adventure yet.
In a nutshell, a strange black substance known as Venom which needs a host to survive lands on earth, inside a shooting star. After it consumes Spiderman, turning him in to Venom, makes him evil. He manages to break free, but Eddie Brock, his rival photographer, (who has lost everything thanks to Peter Parker and now is desperate to kill him) is Venom's next target. Eddie Brock/Venom, teams up with Sandman/Flint Marko, a fugitive, to kill Spiderman. Spiderman is in even more trouble. Harry Osborn turns into the New Green Goblin, desperate to destroy Spiderman. Will Spidey survive?
Of course he does, because Spidey 4 is due out in 2009. Ha ha.
JOHN PRINE
"There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes, Jesus Christ died for nothing I suppose".
They just don't write 'em like that anymore.
But the man who immortalised the war weary junkie Sam Stone is coming to the Millenium Theatre on Friday October 26.
John Prine has recorded and performed with distinguished artists including Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, Trisha Yearwood and Emmylou Harris. A celebrated songwriter, his songs have been covered by icons such as Bette Midler, Bonnie Raitt and Johnny Cash.
This guy is a legend in every sense of the word, not like the eejits who release one or two songs today and get classed as music Gods (You know who I'm chatting about James Blunt).
I would advise that if you have the time, get along to this concert. For more information on John Prine, contact the Millenium Forum box office on 02871 264455.
AROUND IRELAND WITH A FRIDGE
This book has been out for the past three years but I only picked up a copy recently.
Comedien Tony Hawks took up a drunken bet with a friend to thumb his way around the circumference of Ireland with only a fridge for company. The book chronicles his journey around Donegal to Sligo and so on and so forth. As an outsider, Hawks brilliantly captures the way of life, sense of humour and downright kindness that the Irish are renowned globally for. His mission to visit Tory Island and the meet the king and his daughter is particularly funny. Written in such a way that it is easy to read even if you aren't into books, Around Ireland with a Fridge is a modern day classic, and those aren't words I say lightly.
This is real laugh out loud, sore sides stuff and mainly because everything the author says is true, even when it is less than complimentary.
We've all been to the places he visits and we all know someone like the characters he meets. A beauty of a book and available of Amazon for an unbelievable £5.99.
JONI MITCHELL
If I was to put on a CD right now this second it would be The Bee Gees. I have no idea what that has to do with what I'm about to write but now you know.
When I think of Joni Mitchell, I always put her in the same category as Joan Baez, Janis Joplin or Melanie. That hippy, Woodstock, free love era.
I love all that sort of music, the kind that appears to be happy but actually addresses serious issues like the Vietnam draft or the Ku Klux Klan in the 1960's.
Right Sharkey, stop waffling. If you don't know who Joni Mitchell is, she's the lady who wrote Big Yellow Taxi, re-recorded recently by the Counting Crows. Her new album Shine has just been released and it isn't half bad. It has ten tracks and as always, the big issues like warmongering and global warming are addressed. Naturally, there is one or two light, summery tracks to warm the heart and of course the ever-green Big Yellow Taxi gets a revamp.
Shine is out now, priced around £9. Well worth a listen.
