There was an interesting article in the Guardian this week about manbags. Now I know the Guardian is about the only place you would actually have an article about manbags but we shouldn't let such prejudices get in the way of an interesting story. It is especially interesting if one does actually carry a manbag, a phenomenon which is becoming much more prevalent among certain men.

Let us deal first of all with the name. It is not a manbag. It is simply a bag. Manbag is much too close to handbag with all the baggage that would carry with it. It is merely a useful beast of burden with which to transport things that have to be carried.

Which is where the article in said newspaper was particularly interesting. They got together a few men and asked them to explain what was in the bag and why they carried this stuff. Of course they all lied about the stuff, lies which I will puncture in a moment. But the most interesting thing about all the men interviewed was that they were of a certain age. Let's just say an age where they should perhaps have known better at least so I initially thought. In fact one of them, a buyer with the fashion outlet Topman no less, was in his early seventies.

Then it dawned on me that these men did not need to know better. They do actually know better. And what they know is what they lied about in relation to the contents of their bags. Let me put it to you this way. Why does one never see a younger man carrying a bag? Because they don't need to. Everything they need, a few pounds and a packet of chewing gum, can be carried in their deep jean pockets and they don't even need to carry a coat never mind a bag.

As one gets older, however, the amount of stuff one needs to carry expands because one is simply losing the capacity to survive on one's wits and little else. Hence let us examine the contents of my bag.

First to fall out is a pair of glasses. Without these I can no longer read newspapers, find my way around a strange city or most annoyingly, read any menu. I may try to insinuate that this is all about making a trendy statement and being sophisticated in my designer specs but the fact is that I am blind and getting blinder by the day,

Then there is the notebook. In this I note down all the brilliant ideas that occur to me during the day. I scribble intelligent and witty phrases that jump into my head at the most inappropriate moments but which will be brilliant when I'm giving my next important speech. And I note down crucial contacts to be followed up when I get home. Sure thing. I note down all the things I have to do that day like go to the bank, pay the telephone bill and some indication as to where I have left the car because I know I'll forget them all if I don't write them down. That's why these books are so private. Not because ideas will be stolen but in order that no outsider gets to see the extent of our aged forgetfulness.

Third out of the bag is the mobile phone. Again about useful contacts, needing to be available at a moment's notice, needing to send e-mails from anywhere on the planet to solve a crisis before the workplace goes into meltdown. In reality it is there to allow me to contact my secretary to find out where I am going to because I've forgotten or to find directions to the place I am going to and have already been four times that week. It is about talking to someone on the way home because I am afraid that if I am quiet for too long then I will fall asleep and never wake up again.

Then there is the vast range of tablets I have to carry with me. I lie that they are for emergencies when the stress of my busy life is so great that I get these terrible headaches. In reality they are to stop me from falling into a coma at the desk or in a meeting or to give me the energy to climb the stairs at work without having to resort to the stairlift.

I could go on but I have made my point. Older men carry bags because we have paraphernalia to keep ourselves alive and young men simply don't need it yet. So maybe manbag is fine after all. At least it suggests I haven't yet lost all vestiges of manhood and have a few years of dignity left yet.