You may have heard of the John Rowntree Foundation. Named after the great chocolate baron it is a charitable organisation that gives money away but also undertakes research into contemporary issues. Apparently it has just come up with the ten deadly evils of today in an effort to persuade people to confront them and create a society free of such evil.
The first is the decline of community. I blame Riverdance myself. There was a time when a Feis was an excuse for people to get together and talk about their neighbours in a show of community solidarity (everyone talked about everyone else) but now it is all professional training, big hair, fake tans and mothers that look like Madonna. Bring back community games I say complete with sacks, eggs and if necessary a bit of ashes as well.
In second place is individualism, consumerism and greed. This is one social ill I think, otherwise I calculate 12 so let us presume it is one anyway. Since the wealth of the Rowntree Foundation is probably built on our greed and purchase of chocolate there may be some ambivalence about this one but individualism means looking after number one I suppose. Being community-minded (see point one) I am not the best person to comment on this except to say that I have not witnessed any outrageous examples of selfishness so as far as I'm concerned 'I'm alright Jack'.
In bronze medal position is a decline of values. Can't argue with this one I have to admit. No matter what way I try the value of the pound seems to have gone to the wall when you go looking for groceries. A pint feels like a half pint and a quarter of raspberry ruffles sees about three sweets in a bag that used to be stuffed with pink gold. Values are definitely falling!
Then there is the decline of the family. Since most of us would be happy to see family interference decline this is a difficult balancing act. If, however, it means that families have shrunk then that is true only in relation to numbers of members. Given the increase in nutrition since the war families have definitely increased in size and not declined. When she died my grandmother was only about five foot tall and you never see a granny that short now.
Young people it seems are now victims of the society. I feel for their victimhood strolling around attached to an array of technology, being dropped off at school and collected again in a range of plush cars, driving their own plush cars, and heading off on foreign holidays with friends, holidays paid for by parents who are going to have a picnic at Bundoran. It is indeed hard being a young victim.
Social ill six is young people as perpetrators of acts which create other victims. Make your mind up!
Seven sees the entrance of the great scourges of society, drugs and alcohol. This may be related to the points directly above since it might be argued that these things in themselves are not a social ill but the people who abuse them might well be. However, those who take drugs also constitute a community so I am a little perplexed as to whether we should be discouraging this behaviour or encouraging it. I'll have a small brandy and try and think it through.
Poverty and inequality come in at a poor number eight. Poverty is of course relative and since we have already found out that families are in decline there is clearly a connection between a lack of relatives to look after each other and poverty. There used to be a thing called government which tried to do something about poverty but it, like families, also went into decline. But don't worry about inequality. We have it. We are all equally miserable.
Number nine sees the ship of immigration landing. I cannot see why this is a problem. People come and work here for very little doing jobs we refuse to do, they offer a scapegoat for any problem we have caused ourselves, and then we open an emigration folk museum and makes loads of dosh out of other foreign visitors.
Finally there is crime and violence. I blame the immigrants myself because according to the daily rags all the evils in the world are down to foreign labour and these papers wouldn't lie would they? And if anyone does disagree the journalists should just hire some thug to make them reconsider their view if you get my meaning.
And that's it apparently as far as social ill is concerned. No mention of Big Brother, unnecessary roadworks, poorly made cappuccinos or, most worryingly, the possibility that Chelsea might win the Premier League. Am I missing something?
