So they have finally come up with a name for yer man. You know the boyo I mean; this Orange superhero fellow. Apparently he is to be called Diamond Dan.

I am presuming that this is the first in a whole roll out of figures we're going to get, based on precious stones. So we can expect to see Sapphire Sam, Mica Mervyn and Ruby Ronnie in the not too distant future.

I heard the interview with those involved in the launch for Diamond Dan on Radio Ulster and apparently the name was selected by a young schoolboy who was absolutely delighted that his name would go down in the sacred annals of the Orange Order as the person who christened this superhero.

One of the organisers from the Order was quoted as saying that he hoped that Dan would become a kind of Green Cross Code figure for the younger generation. He needed to be told there are at least two problems with this strategy. The first is that the Green Cross Code man was so naff, even for very young children, that no one with any kind of dignity would have been seen within a level crossing of him. Secondly it may have escaped the Order's notice but everyone does actually have to cross a road at some point.

Not everyone has to join the Orange Order unless they sneaked in some kind of law when I wasn't paying attention. And if they did I'm prepared to go to jail first.

I suppose the idea is that diamond gives the impression of hardness yet clarity (I know it was named after some battle) and that there might be a certain beauty in the right light.

However, and it is a big however, having spent some time in Africa where many of these stones are mined is it not also the case that diamonds can be seen as baubles for the hideously rich brought to the shops through exploitation and oppression of a major group of the population? Perhaps not a signification that the Order would want to think about or be thought to be condoning I am sure.

Then there is the fact that Dan is not exactly the most Orange name that comes to mind. Indeed I know a number of people of a different religious persuasion to most Orange brethren who are also called Dan. Will there now be a major catholic rush to the deed poll to change names?

I suspect that the Order would want our Dan to be a figure of strength and uprightness, the sort of guy you could depend on in the event of a July 12th rumble. Not that this ever happens of course, I'm just talking hypothetically here. But diamonds surely are associated with the female half of our society and we wouldn't want anyone thinking that Dan was in any way confused about his gender classification. True there are young men who have taken to wearing large diamond ear-rings and sparkly necklets but the Order have not yet made their position clear on this form of neckwear. Chances are the sash is safe for a while longer yet.

And while we are on the subject of gender when are we going to see the female Orange equivalent of Wonder Woman? This is the 21st century and if the `Order is serious about modernising the female hero will have to emerge sooner rather than later. Big problem here though.

Dan might be able to wander around in the purple cloak and the old leotard but this is not the kind of look one wants for women following the parade. It is an accepted fact that more adults than children watched Wonder Women in order to get a glimpse of that outfit and that Lyn Carter in it (or out of it as she was most of the time it being wayyyyyyy too tight).

Come to think on it, if they did come up with a female version there might be a whole load of new recruits from all faiths and races queuing up to join the brethren.

But what are we going to call her? Sandwich Susie, Sash-cleaning Sadie and Orange Lily don't quite have the same ring as Wonder Woman.

But we must give Dan a chance to prove himself. I am a little concerned that having to march everywhere and go by his traditional route may leave him somewhat out of the loop in the baddie-catching business but like all good superheroes he probably has a trick or two up his sleeve.

And we'll just have to hope that carrying a banner, twirling a stick or beating a large drum won't be a problem when he needs to get them out of his sleeve at short notice!