Last week I got a telephone call, informing me that I had won a Caribbean cruise, and not for the first time either. I informed the speaker that they should just send the tickets on to me, and then I hung up. Which is the proper thing to do. I have written about this sort of thing in the past, not that the perpetrators took a blind bit of notice, but perhaps this article may prevent some people being parted from their money.
The recipient of these phone calls is frequently requested to press a number or a symbol in the dial, and is then kept dangling at the end of the line whilst their interlocutors spout nonsense at them, and the premium-rate telephone tariff mounts up alarmingly, as the hapless subscriber realises when the telephone bill arrives. Presumably, those who offer these bargains or lucky deals part an odd time, but in most cases, it is a scam in which telephone companies rake off their cut. There were variants of this sort of practice, involving British television companies, uncovered towards the end of last year. It is a transparent fig-leaf for the promoters to try to convince the public that only people in the household who pay the phone bill should engage in telephone transactions. Elderly people can become confused, and young children are not of an age to fully understand the ramifications of their actions when taking instructions over the telephone. It should be emphasised, of course, that genuine selling of goods and services is frequently carried out by telephone, and that is quite a legitimate method of doing business, although you may be sold a pig in a poke. Caveat emptor: let the buyer beware. The fact that bona fide sales offers jostle for attention with bogus ones can make it difficult for potential customers to differentiate between the genuine and the fraudulent.
Sometimes you will receive a letter in the post. If it has anything to do with Nigeria, dump it straight into the bin. The rest are not any better, even if they purport to originate from ostensibly respectable firms in Continental Europe.
The spiel goes something like this: a large sum of money, amounting to millions of pounds has been bequeathed or otherwise destined to go to an individual, or an agency in Britain. Unfortunately, it is pointed out, the tax laws of Ooggiiwawa, or wherever, do not readily facilitate the movement of such a vast sum of money, so the perfectly legal (it is claimed), alternative is to break the sum into more manageable sums so that the cash can go out, under the radar, as it were. The people who have been selected to participate in this transfer of monies are made to feel that they are privileged to be part of the exercise. They will not, of course, be expected to go to the bother for nothing: they will receive a percentage of the sum which they agree to transfer. As with all con artists the operators appeal to the instinct, common to us all, of hoping to make easy money, without any apparent risk. Those who are taken in do not pause for a moment to consider why the promoters would risk these monies going in, albeit temporarily, to the bank account of someone they have never met.
What the operators of these scams are really after are your bank details. In order for you to collect your reward for participating you are asked to give details of your banking arrangements - the name and address of your bank, sort code, and all other codes and numbers which can provide unauthorised persons with access to your bank account, or accounts, and enable them to withdraw cash, in your name. It is called 'Identity Theft' and there is an awful lot of it going on, in this increasingly computerised world. Many people who would be wary of people looking over their shoulders whilst they are punching in their PIN code in a High Street ATM, have no hesitation in parting with the most confidential of material to people they know nothing about. It is no coincidence that one of the biggest selling appliances these days are shredding machines. Such an apparatus was once to be found only in offices, now many people are convinced that they are doing the wise thing by making confetti out of all documents that might disclose any details of their identity, which, in the wrong hands, could be used to their disadvantage.
It used to be said that 'if you're not in, you can't win'. It is also true that you can't win, if you are not in. In other words, if you are informed that you have won a prize in a raffle, or a ballot, and you have not bought a ticket, then someone somewhere is trying to sell you a pup.
In evidence the court heard that local residents had expressed their opposition to the proposal to develop a small, regional airport in their neighbourhood. They had become concerned about the noise, congestion, and pollution which such a development would entail. The residents had organised a petition, and had put their case, through expertly informed opinion, to the planning autorities. The latter did not seem to be able to comprehend the depth and the extent of the intense feeling of the local people against the developers of the proposed airport. "They would be flying" said the presiding judge, "In the face of local opinion."
From Sydney, Australia, comes the story of a trial, where on the 66th day of the hearing, the judge praised the jury for taking copious notes. However, a sharp-eyed lawyer noticed that one juror was writing vertically rather than horizontally. Five jurors were, in fact, playing Soduku and not paying attention to the proceedings. The trial had been abandoned.
During the recent Euro 2008 football match between Germany and Austria the Swiss TV station SFZ invited viewers to sing along with the words of each anthem being flashed up on the screen. Unfortunately, the version of 'Deutschland Uber Alles' that they screened was banned on the defeat of the Nazis in 1945.
The title dates back to the yearning, in the 19th century, for a unified state to supersede the motely collection of principalities, dukedoms and Ruritanian fiefdoms that had little in common but the language. The Nazis, set upon world domination, had an altogether more aggressive interpretation. 'Sieg Heil'.
Cherie Blair, is to defend a London publican, who is challenging the legality of the smoking ban as an 'infringement of civil liberties'. It was Cherie's husband, Tony Blair, who brought in the smoking ban last year.
They will tell you in North Kerry that the red-carding of the county team captain on Sunday week, when the player clashed the referee's notebook out of the ref's hands and on to the ground, arose out of the fact that a bee had alighted onto the book, and the player wanted to prevent the ref from being stung. The great anti-Limerick:
"There was a young man from Tralee, who was stung on the neck by a wasp. When asked "Does it hurt?" He replied, "Not at all, it can do it again, if it likes."
